Teaching what I've learned from the hood, the ring, and everything in between. Join 35k other readers to learn how to manage risk, build relationships, and confront reality.
No One Teaches This: The Most Important Thing You Can't Remember
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You don't remember the most important thing about yourself. And I'm not talking about your first kiss, where you grew up, or who your best friend is. That stuff is kind of important and is a part of you, but it’s not what makes you who you are. Those are the things you’ve done. I'm talking about the things that happened to you that you can’t remember, because your mind decided you couldn't handle them. So those things got buried so deep that you don't even know they're missing. Here's the part no one teaches you, and this is the most important part: just because you've blocked out the memory doesn't mean you're immune to its influence. The stuff you can't remember? That's what's been in the driver's seat the entire time, ghost riding your life and steering you into the same problems dressed in different clothing each time. No one's childhood is perfect. Some of us get chipped a little. Many times, those imperfections make us beautiful. But if you are completely shattered, not only can you not be put back together, but the broken shards become a danger to anyone around you Watch the video here or read the rest on
Today’s sponsor actually gave me the experience to write the above essay and produce the video. Jeff Lundeen reached out to me and asked if I’d be interested in trying a free hypnosis session. If I got value from it, I would promote his free workshop to my audience. I’d never done hypnosis before, and I had my ideas and preconceptions, but I figured I’d give it a shot. Worst-case scenario, I’d lose an hour of my time but would get to meet someone new. If you’ve experienced hypnosis before, you already know what I’m about to say. If you haven’t, then let me tell you: It is nothing like how it’s portrayed in the movies or in a stage trick. You don’t get suggestions implanted that you act on unconsciously like a cue. You’re fully conscious the entire time. But you are focused and guided in a way that allows you to change the emotional meaning you take from past events. This can be effective for everything from dealing with addiction to coping with trauma to even programming your mind for success in the future. If you want to experience a free group hypnosis session, Jeff is hosting a live webinar on Thursday, June 11th at 2 pm EST. If you see this after that date and are still curious, he’ll be running these live webinars every Thursday for the foreseeable future. Fitness and trainingI’m starting a free LinkedIn group to discuss—and I hate how trendy this word has become—optimization. I hate how trendy it’s become because some of us are not only really about that life but are actively living it. Although I officially decided to step away from boxing, I did so after figuring out how to train and return to fighting at 40 years old. Between that and working on my chess game and preparing for foreign language certifications, I want to teach, discuss, and swap methods in a free, informal group. Rather than start a second newsletter and give your inbox something else to put in the spam folder, I’ll be starting a Telegram group. I got the idea this morning after talking to my good friend AJ Cortes. If you’re interested, just respond to the email and let me know. I’ll have it set up in the next day or two, and I’ll send you the link. |
Stoic Street Smarts
Teaching what I've learned from the hood, the ring, and everything in between. Join 35k other readers to learn how to manage risk, build relationships, and confront reality.
Most people who grow up in traumatic childhoods don’t make it.Addiction, prison, poverty, broken relationships — the statistics are brutal. But there’s something interesting about the people who do survive it. There are a lot of bad outcomes for people who go through traumatic childhoods. This should come as no surprise, but children who endure abuse, suffer through neglect, and spend their formative years surrounded by drugs, poverty, and violence don’t have the best adult lives. I’ve...
Writing is like any other business:It doesn’t matter how good your product is if you don’t have a way to get it in front of customers. Your idea will fail to launch and fail to impact lives. That said, no amount of marketing or sales can save a terrible product.So while writing the book might be the easiest part, it’s also—by far—the most important. That’s because good writing is good marketing. If it’s well-written, people will talk about the book. They’ll recommend it. Word of mouth will...
Forgiving myself has been the most challenging thing I've done. I'm not sure I've done it, but I try every day. As of the writing of these words, I've got 12 years of sobriety. This isn't enough time to forgive myself, as I still feel guilty for my behavior under the influence and beyond. But each day is a new one I approach with humility and gratitude for my luck and second chances. The main idea I remember when forgiving myself is that the past isn't real. Understanding this concept is...