Teaching what I've learned from the hood, the ring, and everything in between. Join 35k other readers to learn how to manage risk, build relationships, and confront reality.
Antifragility And Why You Get Weak When Life Gets Easy
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Life isn’t easy. Most of the time, it’s not even fun. Most of life is hard, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong. On the contrary, it’s part of what makes life so beautiful. Making it through those challenging moments—when it feels like the whole world is against us and we can’t catch a break—is the only sustainable path to joy. And we chase that joy like a fiend after a fix because it gives our lives meaning. Imagine, for a moment, a world without hardship, where it was just all fun and games. No responsibility, no unexpected bills, and no expectations. At first glance, that seems wonderful. There is a line in The Matrix where Agent Smith says, “Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy.” It sounds great, but then Agent Smith continues: “Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery.” Now I know that’s a quote from a movie, but multiple disciplines—like biology, economics, immunology, physics, and even psychology—all converge on the idea that the human entity is not only designed to face hardship, but we become worse when we avoid it. This is not to suggest that you need to endure pain and discomfort just for kicks, nor does it imply that every hardship you go through has some type of meaning to make you better. Sometimes your life is hard because you made stupid decisions, but it’s amazing how many of those decisions stem from a desire to avoid life's unpleasant parts.
Today’s Sponsor: Jeff Lundeen
Although I’ve spent my life facing challenges, I still get stuck and need help. And most recently, it came from the most surprising place. My relationship with today’s sponsor is an interesting one that traces back to X, the platform formerly known as Twitter. Jeff Lundeen is a hypnotist who typically works with high-performing founders and entrepreneurs. When Jeff reached out to me, you’d think I’d be flattered to be part of that exclusive club, but I actually hate the adjective “high performer” almost as much as I hate the nouns “influencer” and “personal brand.” Yes, I’m aware of my apparent lack of self-awareness in that disdain. That aside, I was never actively curious about hypnosis—it always seemed kind of like pseudoscience to me—but he offered a free session, and if I got value from it, I’d share the good word with my audience. Also, if it doesn’t violate the laws of physics, who am I to say it doesn’t work? If you’ve experienced hypnosis before, you already know what I’m about to say. If you haven’t, then let me tell you: It is nothing like how it’s portrayed in the movies or in a stage trick. You don’t get suggestions implanted that you act on unconsciously like a cue. You’re fully conscious the entire time. You’re able to focus and be guided in a way that helps you change the emotional meaning you draw from past events, optimize the present, and—pardon my “Secret-esque” language here—create a better future for yourself. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass. I’ve done two sessions since my initial, and from those I figured out the root of my alcoholism, forgave my parents, closed two writing deals, and made the jump into using graphics in my videos. Long-time viewers of my channel can see this is the first video that is more than just me talking for 20 minutes. Jeff put together a free training that shows you how to discover and deal with the hidden beliefs running your life. You can watch it here. Hard Lesson Of The WeekHaving taught physics, math up to and including calculus, and now boxing, here's what I've realized: 1) If you didn't struggle before, you are at a serious disadvantage as a teacher. If you were naturally talented and took to the skill like a fish to water, you're probably going to get annoyed teaching people anything. That doesn't mean that if you reach a high level or do great things, you won't be a good teacher. But if your path there wasn't rocky, uncertain, and required a fair amount of catch-up at some point, you're gonna have trouble breaking down beginners' mistakes. And they make a lot of mistakes, because that's what beginners do. 2) More than patience, you need a sense of levity and humor. If you can't make hard things fun, you will lose your students. They will not do well, and they will lose faith in you and in themselves. 3) Giving correction is an art and a science. It's not enough to tell someone they're wrong, and you can't just solve the problem either. You need to focus on improving their thought process and approach. It is slower but more rewarding to teach someone how to think than what to do. 4) You have to be likable. You have to care. This probably should have been number 1, honestly. If your students don't like you, they won't respond. This is especially true for beginners who don't understand that how you feel about the person who delivers the information is irrelevant if the information is true. Number 2 and 3 go a long way in this goal. What goes even further is admitting when you've made a mistake or you don't understand something. But the best way I've found is to be genuinely interested in and curious about their development. People can tell when you're just going through the motions, or you're really about that life. |
Stoic Street Smarts
Teaching what I've learned from the hood, the ring, and everything in between. Join 35k other readers to learn how to manage risk, build relationships, and confront reality.
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