Hard Lessons From The Hurt Business update


This is a short newsletter about some of the happenings around the book, along with great free resources for fathers.

Excerpts, research, and community

For this book, I can confidently say that I've written over 250k words and compiled A LOT of research around family dynamics, social interactions, game theory, learning science, addiction, and physical training.

The book in its (nearly) final form will contain none of this research and essays.

It will be much more of a memoir telling my story while delivering lessons and insights. In fact, the second draft of the book looks NOTHING like the first draft because, in that first draft, I was trying to be something I'm not.

I wasn't writing with the full power of my natural voice and leaning into my strengths. While I've always built my perspectives and opinions on research, writing my book relies on my lived experiences of:

  • Growing up in the public housing projects, being raised by a single mother, and surviving her abusive boyfriend.
  • Shifting to a new social class of people and discovering how behind I was in life.
  • Failing out of a college with an alcohol problem.
  • Boxing, winning a national amateur title, and going pro under Jay-Z's RocNation Sports
  • Getting a degree in physics.

Those are just a few bullet points, but it's clear that I've had one hell of a ride. That story is what the book has become. With that said...

All that work I did in the first draft has to go somewhere. I've decided to upload it over the next 12-18 months in my Substack paid community. If you didn't know, I have a Substack that is growing nicely—I think EVERYONE who writes should have one.

Also, as part of the community, you'll get early access to the book and a free signed copy when it launches, along with monthly "Ask me anything" Zoom calls about using the topics in the book I write about or the publishing journey in general.

But really, the best part is that you get to see the other side of the book—the book that won't be released to the public, which is just as valuable, but not the direction that I'm sharing with the public.

You can sign up to my Substack for free as well, but you won't have access to the extra content and the perks. Either way, your support is always appreciated.

Speaking and podcasting

As part of the marketing of the book, I'm currently putting together a list of podcasts and speaking leads to reach out to over the next year to deliver my message and promote the book.

If you:

  • Have a podcast and would like to have me as a guest,
  • Are part of an organization that brings in speakers.
  • Have an email list

Let's talk. You've been on the list and saw a sampling of what's covered in the book, let's talk about how to collaborate.

YouTube

I spent nearly 2 weeks studying YouTube on, well, YouTube. I didn't just learn what works with videos, but I also studied directly from VidIQ's YouTube channel.

I now know why some videos sucked (most of them) and why the ones that have done well have done well. As part of promotion, I'm on a much tighter—yet more relaxed—video production schedule. What do I mean by that?

I had trouble creating videos before because I wanted to come off polished, so I was figured I needed a sharpened script that I read off a teleprompter. Well, not only was that taking too long but the videos weren't capturing me and my my personality. So now I'm more laid back, relaxed, and a bit more off the cuff.

I've got a batch of videos set to upload, and I'd love for you to subscribe. Worst case scenario, you hate the content. Best case, it's a free way to help me out as I build towards making my book launch big and spreading my content.

A quick guide for fatherhood

Taking advice from other people on parenting always feels a bit odd, but if it's done tastefully, then you can learn a lot. I connected with Ben Black because his account focuses on fatherhood and family, two things I hope will become my defining legacy.

He's put together a short guide on some ways for busy fathers to reconnect with their kids. It's a short a read and it may give you ideas that you never thought of.

Stoic Street Smarts

Teaching what I've learned from the hood, the ring, and everything in between. Join 35k other readers to learn how to manage risk, build relationships, and confront reality.

Read more from Stoic Street Smarts

You can watch this below. While you're at it, I'd love for you to subscribe. The channel is growing, and your subscription and view hours are free to support it! And another thing before we jump into today's newsletter. I'm *considering* doing a 2-4 week-long workshop teaching the basics of how I've finally triggered the YouTube growth I'm experiencing. The seminar is geared toward writers, millennials and older, and people fed up with X's busted algorithm who want to continue growing an...

video preview

Let's talk about the 3 main ways men destroy their lives. I grew up in the projects and spent my 20s partying and wasting my life. Other than my amateur boxing career, I didn't have much going for me, and I came dangerously close to falling victim to all of these—and I've seen many men who grew up around me, both friends and relatives, fall victim to at least one of these and quite a few, to all three. And look, unless you end up doing life in prison or you catch a sex charge with some kids,...

Many people associate pain with defeat, loss, and failure. Boxers, on the other hand, develop a different relationship with pain. There is nothing quite like the pain you experience during the hard work of pushing your body to its limits. The conditioning and preparation that goes into boxing are incredibly difficult, unpleasant, and painful. This, itself, isn’t surprising. Perhaps more surprising is how many athletes across all sports have a similar experience. Many competitive athletes...